


Iron Man 3 Meanderings

by Khanada



Series: Marvel Meanderings [7]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 09:24:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16741330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khanada/pseuds/Khanada
Summary: A long time ago (in a galaxy not so far away) I came across an internet site called the Fringedweller’s Guide, which sadly appears to have been swallowed up by a black hole. It offered an often very amusing running commentary on Stargate episodes (among other things) and appeared to be made up of the musings/thoughts triggered by events/dialogue in each episode. I thought I would offer something along those lines for the MCU.As ever, I suggest you watch the movie before reading this … and then while reading this.Potential mild spoilers for other MCU films. I try to avoid anything plot related, but lines of dialogue from other movies do pop up and there are some call backs to previous Meanderings.Iron Man 3…AKA the marmite of the Iron Man trilogy… love or hate it – possibly depending on whether or not you’d read Extremis before you first saw it (I hadn’t), and how much you knew about The Mandarin (for me – nothing).





	Iron Man 3 Meanderings

Talk over with foreboding images – that then punctures its own seriousness with “I don’t – er – I’m going to start again”

Let’s track this from the beginning (It’s a very good place to start).

I hated this song when it was in the charts. 

Edifying and unintelligible – really? Is that possible?

Yinsen!!!

“You know who I am” Is that his catchphrase?

Poor Yinsen!!

“Perhaps another time” – sadly yes!

It’s Mike from Neighbours! Hello Mike from Neighbours!

Advanced Idea Mechanics – oh dear!!!

The interesting thing about this whole section is seeing more of Stark pre-Afghan cave. I still just do not buy that he wasn’t actually putting on an act before Afghanistan and playing the role of the famous weapon manufacturer’s son.

I also don’t think he was particularly happy.

Happy. What part of “don’t touch” did you not understand?

He’s a good bodyguard!

Technically tomorrow is now today but hey.

Poor Mike from Neighbours.

“I had just created demons” – understatement!

“After a brief soiree in an Afghan cave” well that’s one way of putting it.

“You know who I am” hee!

“As you wish sir. I’ve also prepared a safety briefing for you to entirely ignore” Poor JARVIS, he knows his boss so well!

He calls his suits ladies???

Love the alliteration of “bouncing, bad-ass baby brother”

Mark 42 – will it provide the answer to life the universe and everything?

Got to love RDJ’s dance moves

There is something disconcerting about there being a metallic noise when he hits his arm!

Pride before a fall dear “I think we got this” … nope! No, you haven’t!

Superhero landing!!!

“As always sir. A great pleasure watching you work” hee!

“I guess 72 hours is a long time between siestas” Ummm. You don’t say!

The poor bot in the background! Looking around at the mess in absolute dismay.

Yay – 10 Rings!

Why does this speech always remind me of the old BBC Micro game “Kingdom”?

“I, I, I did that” I love that he stammers there.

“You’ll never see me coming” – Are you Quicksilver?

Iron Patriot. Or as a young family member said when they saw the Lego figure – “It’s a Captain America Iron Man”

War machine a little aggressive? No! Really? Snort!

Einstein is an exception not a rule!

Okay – I’m sorry but that kid is evil. He sees an adult having a melt down and decides to lean in to whisper a question??? And the fact that he’s whispering it suggests that he was probably told NOT to ask it! Is he called Damian???

And that right there is what I love about the MCU. The events of Avengers Assemble actually had consequences for the characters. I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen a superhero movie that’s supposedly a sequel but, quite honestly, if you hadn’t seen the previous one it wouldn’t matter because it had no lasting consequence. The start of the next one has been like someone punching a reset button and completely undoing the prior events (with the exception that in the Spider-Man sequels Uncle Ben stays dead … except for when they reset only 10 years after the previous origin story (and only 5 years after the last one).

Hee. Stark’s disbelief that he had a panic attack!

Did he just call that guy Bambi? Are all of Stark Enterprises’ security people named after Disney characters?

“It is a compliment” well – yes and no.

Mike from Neighbours!!! He’s cleaned up a bit now!

“After years dodging a ban…” ummmm. Yes, that’s not something to be proud of!!! Oh. Right. AIM!

Okay. If I was a CEO of a company and some slime ball who used to crack on to me came into my office and took control of my lighting system, I’d be calling security in!!!

'My think tank thinked it up’

SLIME BALL!!!!!

“Strangely mimetic” Ummmmm, No! Not really. Show off!

God look at him putting moves on her – reaching in front and round her while standing behind. Seriously – Pepper. RUN!!!!

“Is this Forehead of Security?” Hee! I know. Bad joke! TERRIBLE in fact; but it does make me giggle. How has Stark not caused every single employee to walk out by now?

“He’s got another guy with him. He’s shifty” Right in front of said guy?

Oh Happy! A little more subtlety wouldn’t go amiss!

“Recode its DNA” Yeah – no thanks!

Okay – she’s not stupid.

“I invited Tony to join AIM 13 years ago” So. MCU timeline. We can at least say with certainty that Iron Man 3 definitely takes place in 2013.

“Genius on the throne”?? Okay, she’s not stupid – but genius??? SLIME BALL!

Doesn’t have to answer to Tony? Ummm, isn’t it still his company?

Good for her for not falling for that ooze!

If your father’s an idiot, why are quoting him?

That rabbit is TERRIFYING.

Yes 15 is very close to 42.

Team of guys to blow out a wall?? Or you could just give your address to a terrorist who wants you dead.

He is such a child!

“I appreciate the thought, very much” okay, she’s not a genius, but she is very tactful!

And possibly has one thing on her mind. What is it with depictions of girls getting all hot and bothered around a guy in a supersuit??? ([cough][upside down kiss][Spider-Man][cough])

Nicely done Marvel – avoiding the cliché!

Crowbars??

“We were just hosting you” How? If he’s busy controlling the suit, how is he doing anything else?

“Having drinks with Aldrich Killian” LOVE the Mark 42’s reactions!

“I’m a piping hot mess” never a truer word spoken. Also, when did Tony Stark become so self-aware?

“Nothing’s been the same since New York” PTSD? Or different writers with a more vulnerable take on Tony Stark?

“Gods, aliens, other dimensions” okay – Gods and aliens yes – other dimensions??? No! Another part of space yes – but pretty certain it wasn’t an alternate dimension.

“I’m just a man in a can” I thought he was a… what was it? “Billionaire. Genius. Playboy. Philanthropist”? Oh, right! Different characterisation!

God! RDJ’s vulnerable acting here!

I so much prefer the characterisation of Tony Stark in this film! He was too obnoxious in Avengers Assemble! I think this fits more with the other 2 Iron Man movies (and with the, albeit not that many, graphic novels I’ve read). And yes, I think we are definitely supposed to think he has PTSD and yes, the difference in character could be because of that, but I really don’t think that’s entirely it.

“But honey. I can’t sleep” Anyone else REALLY want to give him a hug at that point?

“I have to protect the one thing that I can’t live without … That’s you” Okay, I think she might have figured that one out.

“And you’re going to join me” Hee! Now we know who wears the trousers in that relationship!

Okay, and back to ‘give RDJ an Oscar already’!

Yup! If I was suddenly attacked by a suit in my bedroom, I’d probably freak out too! Not sure about her walking out on her boyfriend when he’s just had a nightmare though!

They do like their foreboding music don’t they!

Those people who dress as statutes give me the creeps!

Don’t thank him honey! He’s getting you killed!

Happy at a chick flick; now there’s an image!

And the point when his face starts glowing should be the point when you RUN!!!!

I guess the ‘people with a lack of self preservation’ thing that Marvel likes doing is back!

Big explosion, is big!

Poor blown up guy.

Poor Happy.

Random question (and I had the same question watching Torchwood quite often). If a character who can heal through cellular regeneration, even after being blown up, gets blown up into multiple pieces, how is there still only one of the character? I mean, say a character ends up in 3 pieces of varying sizes; how do the pieces know whether to grow back what’s missing or stay dormant? Surely, if their cells can regenerate, all cells would regenerate, all pieces would grow whatever else of the body is missing and you would end up with multiple copies? (This comes up again later!)

10 Rings!

There is a song lyric that may or may not contain the words “Fortune Cookie”. Whether that is a Mondegreen or the Crazy Gods of Endless Noise did actually include that phrase, I always get that song (Trapped Water) stuck in my head at this point. 

Stark acts so up himself, but he knows his people’s favourite TV shows and why, and makes sure they get looked after, which suggests he’s actually very, very intently paying attention to them. Which is just gorgeous!

“Just saying” Hee!

“So I’ve decided that you just died, pal. I’m gonna come get the body.” If only it was that easy!

Stark breaking the superhero model again, most don’t give out their address on national television (security issues), but not Stark. It’s like the “I am Iron Man” line in the first one.

“I’ll leave the door unlocked” That’s not safe!

“Talk to me, Happy” He can’t! He’s rather blown up at the moment!

“When is a bomb not a bomb?” Surely if it blows up, it’s a bomb?

JARVIS is too good!

“Are we still at ding dong?” well, given that the door bell just went “ding dong” it looks like you are, yes! Although, I thought you were leaving the door unlocked!?

“Come on, I threatened a terrorist.” Well that’s not JARVIS’ fault is it?!

JARVIS being snarky again. 

“You’re not the Mandarin are you. Are you?” Given the reaction to the Mandarin in this film, could you imagine if it had turned out to be her?

“Don’t take it personally. I don’t remember what I had for breakfast.” “Gluten-free waffles, sir” “That’s right” If he can’t actually remember, how does he know if it’s right? JARVIS could’ve said full English fry up – he wouldn’t know.

“Old botanist pal that I used to know, barely.” Masterful double entendre there, I think.

“Please don’t tell me there’s a 12-year-old kid waiting in the car that I’ve never met.” “He’s 13” Oh well done. He absolutely deserved that! Of course, there probably are lots of mini Starks running around. (God help the planet!)

“This is how normal people behave”. Yes it’s completely normal to threaten a terrorist on national television and give your address and buy a rabbit so big you have to dismantle the house to get it inside.

They’re arguing about the rabbit??? Now???

“Do we need to worry about that?” Well, it’s a missile and it’s coming towards the house so … yes??!

Hee. Stark’s the little princess needing rescuing by Pepper!

“I got you first” well yes you did, but then you wouldn’t have needed to if you HADN’T GIVEN YOUR ADDRESS OUT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION!

“Like I said … “ Ummmm when?

Phew! She woke up just in time!

For some reason, I always expect the flight stabiliser to go off when she’s looking at it.

Come on. That’s slight overkill isn’t it?

Hee. Piano to take out a bad guy – brilliant!

Poor You and Dummy!!! (sob!)

Pretty house go bye bye.

Because that’s very sensible. Stand in front of the guy who just blew up your house and draw attention to yourself. Oh Pepper!!! Yet another MCU inhabitant worthy of the Darwin Award.

Poor bunny go bye bye

Has JARVIS expelled all of the water that entered when the arm came off, or is Stark drowning in the suit while he flies off?

Poor deer!

Was the car’s driver okay?

“It’s snowing right?” That would be the white stuff yes!

Oh JARVIS. Trying to be helpful after nearly being blown up, and just get yelled at.

Robot logic “I prepared a flight plan” Hee!

“Who asked you?” Ummm you did.

Anyone else want to hug JARVIS?

Okay. What? Stark can see it’s snowing. He’s just commented on it. He knows he’s only in thin clothing in that suit. And he thinks it’s a good idea to open the suit up??? And then seems surprised that it’s cold. And this guy’s supposed to be smart?!

Yup JARVIS needs a hug.

So does Stark – he’s just been abandoned by his AI!

“Don’t leave me, buddy.” (sniff!)

Would Stark as depicted in Avengers Assemble actually admit to selfishness and stupidity and apologise?

Oh Stark. Being all sweet and apologetic and loving and then “I just stole a poncho from a wooden Indian” she’s NOT going to understand that!

And he treats a suit with a powered down AI like a person. Yup I definitely prefer this version of him!

First aid with a pair of pliers? Yikes!

And Marvel breaks expectations again. How many people saw the kid and thought ‘oh God, he’s going to be annoying’, a la how many kids in movies that need rescuing at some point, and actually, he’s not too terrible. Nicer than the creepy Damian kid earlier.

So, if he had a picture of Stark IN HIS HANDS, how did he not immediately recognise him? I mean if I walked into my home and found Robert Downey Jnr sitting there. I’d recognise him immediately. I’d be more … well … more like Spidey in Civil War actually – not all ‘Don’t move. I’ve got a potato gun and I’m not afraid to use it!’

“What happened to him?” “Life. I built him. I take care of him” ‘I get him blown up by inviting a terrorist to attack my house’

“It’s Iron Patriot now” “That’s way cooler” actually, I do kind of agree with the kid there.

Stealth mode Iron Man “That’s actually a good idea.” Want!!!

Break something’s finger off and the response is “Oops?” really?

“Sorry” “Are you?” That face! There is ABSOLUTELY no way that kid is thinking anything other than ‘nope’!

“Here’s what I need” Got to love the mix of things you would find in any house, technical terminology and then “a big spring and a tuna fish sandwich”! Not sure the 2 things go together but hey.

Okay. How DOES Stark know the child’s being bullied?

Because it’s totally okay to give a child ‘a very powerful weapon’ to use on another child. Naturally.

“It discourages bullying” Well, that’s one way of putting it.

I wish we could’ve seen Pepper’s face at the “I stole a poncho…”

“I think that my boss is working for the Mandarin” Think??? How much does she know?

“You know how he gets” How? How does he get?

You have to hand it to them. They really did the ‘Mandarin Twist’ so very well!

Got to love Iron Man with a child’s watch!

How long does it take to count to 5?

“He went to hell on account of he didn’t get a shadow”??? Hmmm that sounds like he went to hell because he didn’t leave a shadow – wrong way round surely.

How does a crater remind someone of a wormhole? Now he’s been worse than ‘Damian’.

“Do you have medication?” “No” “Do you need to be on it?” Hee!!!!

“Are you going completely mental?” Oh dear!!!!

I love that this film could be a Christmas film!

Psycho woman!

“Nice haircut” yeah that was definitely what he was staring at and not the scars.

Okay is that MIA – as in “Missing in Action” or is that “AIM” on the other side of the sheet showing through?

Homeland security???

“Hot wench, you want to party?” LOL

How did Savin get there so fast? Or is it just a coincidence? (Back up for the woman getting the info?)

“Crazy, huh?” “Yep” Understatement!

Yup – not as crazy as jumping through a window.

That guy waited until he was right behind her and she’d hear him before loading his gun????

Devil woman!

“Cheap trick and a cheesy one liner” “Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography” LOL – because Iron Man is such a cheap trick!

Ah the old metal in a microwave (plus gas tap) trick – so 2 cheap tricks and a cheesy one liner then.

I think she might be dead.

And Savin has Harley, because that’s not a cliché at all.

And he said to Harley to use that on another child? Right!

“Otherwise you come off grandiose” Hee!

How did he find the car so fast?!

“Wait, you’re guilt tripping me aren’t you!” Ummm yes. That’s exactly what he’s trying to do!

“I’m cold” No you’re not!

“Coz we’re connected” LOL!

Okay – how is he not dead?

I’d switch off Christmas product adverts too!

10 Rings!!!!

Oooooh Roxxon.

“If your president calls me in the next half minute, Tom lives” LIAR!!!!

Oh dear!!! What part of not negotiating with terrorists did you not learn?

Poor Tom. That’s just mean!

“Red white and blue attack dog!” which one? Iron Patriot or Steve Rogers? (Why isn’t SHIELD being called in here?)

“Hang on a second” ‘while I take this call, while threatening you’

That smile!!! Yup, Rhodey’s happy to hear from him!

“WARMACHINEROX with an x, all caps” 

“That is so much better than Iron Patriot” okay he’s got me there.

Hee Stan Lee cameo.

“Tony Stark is in my van” Does seem rather like a porn movie.

“Is this your van or is anyone else going to come in” oh stop it!

“I get a lot of this, it’s okay” as RDJ or as Tony Stark?

“I don’t know if you can tell …” No hadn’t noticed at all!

“My hair’s a little …” HAT HAIR!!!!

Why would you have them do it off a doll rather than a picture? Surely, you’d want it as accurate as possible so you’d use a photo!?

I wonder what happened when Gary went home afterwards and told all his friends he’d found Tony Stark in his van … I doubt anyone believed him!

“Addiction will not be tolerated, and those who cannot regulate will be cut from the program” Well that’s one way of putting it. (The other way is, ‘[They] will be blown up’!)

“Misfits. Cripples” Nice positive language there – jerk!

“A bomb’s not a bomb when it’s a misfire” Except; if it blows up; surely it’s still a bomb?

He can’t hear you dear!

That’s a hell of a difference. Space travel and bomb building.

Hmm. Doesn’t quite pass the Bechdel test as she’s talking about Killian.

“I didn’t know you and the master were going to blow the place up” so does she or does she not know about the Mandarin Twist?

Terrorist hiding beneath a veil. Not a cliché at all.

Poor JARVIS!

It’s not charging” Cue panic attack.

“What’s questionable about electricity?” Hee.

“Are you having another attack? I didn’t even mention New York” Ummm, you just did!

“You’re a mechanic right? Good point!

Do love a good montage!!!

Hee Christmas tree ball bombs! This movie should be on tv EVERY Christmas!!!

Just throws the weapon away. He’s too cool!!!

How was he not also electrocuted?

Please can we just stop and take a moment to admire Sir Ben Kingsley’s acting here? The difference between his delivery of this stuff about fortune cookies compared to earlier – brilliant!

“My name’s Trevor. Trevor Slattery” LOL! Not quite so scary now, is he?!

“Don’t hurt the face. I’m an actor” Oh how much fun is he having with this?

Doing things a man shouldn’t do “Next” LOL Stark’s reaction!

“Said they’d give me more” Hee!

“Did you just nod off?” Looks like!

“His think tank thinked it up” LOL!

“Movie magic love” He’s having too much fun!

“Well I panicked, but then I handled it” Yes very much so! Or not.

Do dungeons normally have big windows?

“People are going bang. They’re painting the walls” Well that’s one way of putting it.

How does he know about her morals etc when she was a one-night stand?

There he is quoting his old man again.

‘Thank you for being an a-hole’

Funny they couldn’t see you when they weren’t looking!

“Yes. Sir Laurence Oblivier” Hey!!!! 

“He’s a stage actor” So are you love!

“They say his Lear was the toast of Croydon, wherever that is” I remember there being a big laugh from the audience in a cinema not too far from Croydon when that was said. 

“Ever since that big dude with the hammer fell out of the sky, subtlety has kind of had its day.” Well yes. Thor doesn’t really do “subtle”.

And RDJ making us feel it again!

“What kind of perk package are you thinking of?” One in which he sees you blow up?!!!

“What are you doing?” I think it’s pretty clear what she’s doing!

“We’re not doing this” Ummm I think you are actually.

“You are a maniac” Yup!

Did he just call Savin a maniac?

832 miles – and how quickly did he drive that distance? It’s very difficult to gage timeframes in this film.

“Break it, you bought it” “Guess I just bought it” Ummm – yup!

“This.” “That.” LOL!

Don’t open. Alright let’s go” Okay.

“You breathe fire? Okay!” Hee!

“How did we get this shift?” Killian really ought to choose his lackeys a bit better!!! One of them was prepared to kill herself. One of them doesn’t know how he got his job!

“I am just, beyond terrified” I can tell!

Hee. One-handed repulsor spins his bedframe round. ‘Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’

Probably sensible to blow up the lock and duck rather than trying to open it with a key and getting knocked over by flying armour. Smart kid!

Love this sequence!

And my favourite lackey “Honestly, I hate working here. They are so weird” LOL.

Why are they in bikinis while everyone else is running round in full clothing (so it can’t be that warm)?

“I never thought people had been hurt.” What? Like the guy you shot who was ON THE FLOOR RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU??

“Something to do with a big boat” Not far off.

“The next bit may include the Vice President” Kind of.

“They’re using the Iron Patriot as a Trojan Horse” Good analogy actually.

Oooh child missing leg – well that’s not a pointer at all!

Given they thought that the Vice President was dealing with it, how did they know to go after Air Force One?

How can Savin survive being blown up – but not survive one injury?

“Barrel of Monkeys” Yup I remember that game.

Another brilliant sequence.

That’s right. Big doors open in the house you’re clearing up of a guy known for building technologically advanced suits … and you just stand and watch? Is that entirely sensible?

Poor Pepper – CEO to trophy.

“What do you want from me”? “Nothing sir” well at least he’s honest.

Poor Stark. Doesn’t know whether or not he’s going to freak out.

Someone likes they’re ancient cultures! Trojan Horse, now Viking funeral.

Okay. The House Party Protocol is cool!

“Disable with extreme prejudice” What about Pepper? She’ll have an Extremis signature now!

“What are you waiting for? It’s Christmas. Take them to church” This must be a new definition of church I was not previously aware of.

He named a suit Igor?

Heartbreaker? Red Snapper? How did he come up with these names?

If they’re only coded to him how did he get it to go onto Pepper earlier? He could’ve given Rhodey one.

“See what happens when you hang out with my ex-girlfriends?” ‘See what happens when you give your ADDRESS OUT ON LIVE TELEVISION?!!!’

“Like a little turtle, cooking in his little turtle suit.” Not really.

Someone lost a hand/lower arm! Very Star Wars!

Hee! Rhodey’s too cool!

‘War Machine coming at you’ (oops wrong film).

It really doesn’t look like you’ve got her at all.

Because the guy doesn’t have enough PTSD already.

“I would’ve caught her” Easy to say that now!

Hee! Love the leaping between suits!

That is a heck of a tattoo on Killian’s chest.

Hee! Poor Mark 42!

Sob! Poor Mark 42! He tried and tried to look after you and you just blow him up you ungrateful so and so!

Okay seriously. That Torchwood/regeneration question – how? How, how, how do the various parts know whether or not to regenerate?

“I am the Mandarin” How to divide your fanbase.

“I got nothing” Same here.

Kicking a metal casing with bare toes? That would’ve hurt!

“I’m going to shave them down a little bit” Just a little!

“You know what to do” How? How does JARVIS know what to do? That communication device wasn’t quite working when he was talking to Pepper so JARVIS wasn’t listening, so how is he going to know?

“The Clean Slate Protocol, sir?” Who comes up with these names? It’s like the Frost Giants all over again!

How is Stark not going to pieces watching his suits (his protection) blow up??? He hasn’t magically gotten over his PTSD, so surely, he should be on the floor hyperventilating right about now?

Demons again.

“That was the best sleep I’d had in years!” Anaesthetic does tend to do that to you.

Yay! Happy’s woken up!

Is the kid old enough to drive???

Is that really a good idea giving a child all of that – unsupervised?

“It was a cocoon” and yet you still blew it up – while you had PTSD. Very smart.

Yay! Dummy!

“I am Iron Man” Well you had to end the trilogy with that really didn’t you!

I love this first credits piece!

Yay Banner!!!!

“Where did I lose you?” ‘Right at the beginning dear. He didn’t even get to your funky dance moves.’

“I’m not that kind of doctor.” You don’t say!

Poor Banner!


End file.
